Perfectly Imperfect
by SamanthaMoore
Summary: Blaine is met with the constant struggle of bullies and the torment inflected by not only the teens at his school but by his own father who rejects him for all that he is. A touching story on the power of courage, the struggles of teens and the importance in knowing it's better to be Perfectly Imperfect. Rated T for violence/homophobic slurs. Its my first story so please review :)


February 15/ 2013

"**Perfectly Imperfect"**

**By- Samantha Moore**

Perfect, defined by the Oxford dictionary as being free from any flaw and having all desired qualities or characteristics...Well here I am the dented can left behind on the grocery store shelf, the broken cookie left behind in the tin...damaged with flaws clearly visible to all.

I guess before I begin I need to do a little explaining. My name is Blaine Devon Anderson, I'm 17 years old and what many would describe as anything but a perfectly silhouetted, perfectly sanded teenage boy. I never had the perfect body or those dreamy eyes; rather, I was scrawny, had black hair, brown eyes and was into fashion too much for my own good. Not only that, but I had anything but a perfect family... I was simply the guy who nobody wished to be.

It seemed like my life was just one big magnet that all the crap in the world was attracted to. I've spent my life constantly loosing, success just became a long lost dream of mine.

My mom had left me when I was 10 and I never heard from her since and she stuck me with my Dad, a known stranger in my life- he knows me, I know him and that's about the extent of our relationship. Everything about me seems to be a disgrace to him... I'm the child he wishes he never had.

"Frig Blaine, toughen up and get over it, a son of mine would never be so sensitive"… "Be a man and stand up for yourself"

For god's sake Dad, I am your son, can't you be supportive of me. I'm not you, and sure I don't have the courage to stand up for myself and if that makes me a coward so be it, it only reflects who my so called parents are. You want me to change who I am well sorry to break the news to you but that's an impossible request, you can't fix something when it belongs to the landfill.

News flash everyone you can never fix something you were born with, they are either blessings or mutations, unfortunately mines the latter, and in case you were wondering I'll inform you too just as every other person in my town knows, my haunting defect is my sexuality... I'm gay. When I say it's a mutation it's because of two things. Number one, people will look at me and make completely heart wrenching comments about me like I do in fact have some disoriented face caused by a mutation. Number two, I want to clear something up for all you idiots out there, it is not a choice to love another person of your sex just as it's not a choice to have Down's syndrome. But do you know what is a choice? Pride. No matter how you are born you can chose to take pride in who you are. Sometimes life just sucks but only until you learn to deal with it can things start going uphill.

My story begins on February 1st 2010, on a day similar to so many before it.

"It's not like anybody got hurt," interrupted Bryan Collins, the jock of Lauders-dale High school.

"Mr. Collins, that's not the problem here, my concern is with why you felt you could mock Mr. Anderson," continued Principle Douglas.

"Well I'm still not sure why I'm here considering those comments were not directed to him," Bryan insisted, clearly lying straight through his teeth.

I've heard those words too many times to know they were all lies, what comes next I know exactly, the principle will say something dismissive, the idiot will get off with no punishment and I'll be left hurt. It happens all the time and will only continue. Glad to be at yet another new school... Not!

"Okay Mr. Collins, if I hear or see it going on again there will be consequences. You are free to go." _BINGO look who was right_.

With that Bryan was up and out leaving me sitting there in front of Principle Douglas, my stomach sinking to the floor.

"Well Mr. Anderson, what do you think of your new school, are you settling in good?" asked Principle Douglas, completely dismissing all that had just happened.

I just stared at him, is he serious what the hell is wrong with him!

"Look Mr. Anderson sometimes high school can be rough, people can be mean, but that's a part of growing up, it will all get better just hang in there."

What I really wanted to say was_, wow what a concept, I never thought of that but guess what I've had to deal with people like that for my entire friggin life so screw them and screw you... Aren't you supposed to be the one to protect me from it!_ But all that I ended up muttering was "okay."

I got up and walked out of his office dragging my pride behind me but not letting it go. _Faggot_... That's what Bryan had called me, he didn't direct that comment to the thin air but to me. Why can't I just fit in, be a part of something... anything? Instead I go around lost never knowing where I belong never remotely close to being perfect. See in high school there are always clicks, there's the nerds, they can get perfect on a math test, there's the jocks who have the hot perfect bodies, there's the popular kids who are simply admired as perfect no matter how much they suck at everything and then there is me, simply an abomination of everything right in this world.

"Blaine, you may work with Alex Labret and let's see…ahh how about Bryan Collins. For your project topic you will be studying various different genetic disorders and mutations," informed Mrs. Saunders, my Biology teacher. "I believe that is everyone for projects… and a reminder that the reports will be due late next week and you are required to get together outside of class time to finish, but today you will just be copying out a note," she finished just as the class began to groan.

_ Great _just what I hoped for, I've only been at this school for two weeks and I truly want to kill myself. This Bryan Collins kid and his little gang buddies, Alex Labret, Tyler White and Michael Reid are true assholes, they've written on my locker, they've kicked my books across the hall and slammed me into the walls, yet every single time the hall is absent of all teachers yet crowed with students only increasing my embarrassment… now I have to do a project with two of them.

"Hey Blainey," I heard Alex whisper from behind me, "Hey princess I'm talking to you…"

"What do you want Alex," I muttered as I grabbed a piece of paper from my binder, scribbling the date in the top right corner.

"What's the name of your disease … homosexualitis…You see I figured we could include it into our report" He continued.

I held back my tears as it felt like I received a virtual blow to the chest…_Ignore him._

"How is it contracted by the way…I just want to protect myself," He whispered again.

Time seemed to move so slowly, I could hardly see the board with the glaze of tears in my eyes, yet there Mrs. Saunders sat, completely oblivious and deaf to everything as she typed away on her computer.

The minute the bell rang; I grabbed my books, and ran straight for the washrooms. I locked myself in the farthest stall and cried. I cried so hard my stomach hurt and my eyes stung. _Why do I have to be gay, why doesn't god love me, or my parents for frig sakes. I just want to be me but I don't want to be thrown down for it._

That day as I made my way home Bryan and Alex followed me and the spoke with words that pierced my body like knives, words I wouldn't dare to repeat but rather were silent but permanent in my mind controlling my every thought and every emotion. I wish I could just break down, end it all…but I have to keep going. As I almost reached my street Bryan ran up behind me stuck his foot out and I tripped, landing face first on the sidewalk. I heard them run away as I scurried back up; I could feel the blood trickling down from my forehead.

I tried to wipe up the blood with my sleeve before walking into the house, but like everything else a ruthless teenager has done to me, I'm left with a mark, a scar of what had been.

"What the hell happened to you," Dad shouted as I walked into the kitchen

"It's nothing, I'm fine," I lied, when really it stung, the cut and the words.

"I said what the hell happened, don't lie to me Baline!" he continued to shout, I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Two guys followed me home. They were just making fun of me, and one of them tripped me. I'm fine," I mumbled as I sunk into the chair, shame coated my body.

"How many times have I told you, toughen up?"

"Dad- I"

"No, for God's sake, shut your mouth, and listen. You need to clean up your act, cut this faggy attitude, be a man like you are supposed to be and life could be easier."

"Dad- listen to me!" I screamed tears rolling from my eyes

"No I'm tired of all your complaining. I'm tired of moving you from school to school. You put this onto yourself, for God's sake, it's disgusting to think about you, you're…your pathetic," he shouted, his veins bulged from his neck.

I couldn't speak, I just cried, no I balled. I tried to run out of the room, but dad pushed me into the chair and wailed the back of his hand hitting me in the face.

"Grow the hell up Blaine!" He finished, I ran to my room slamming my door behind me, crying muffled sobs into my pillow, _I hate my dad, I hate my life, I hate everything and everyone… I'm freaken gay. Deal with it!_

The next day I went back to school, my right eye puffy and purple, and the scrap on my forehead slightly visible. I received looks in the hallway which wasn't a surprise, they always stare at me, I put too much gel in my hair, I wear too colourful of clothing, I'm too soft, and now I have a smashed up face.

I spent my day with my head down, trying to conceal the marks from my teachers, I walked around silent, and for once it was a day spent invisible. My week continued, and the pestering began again. Alex, Mike, and Tyler were relentless, yet Bryan disappeared. I hadn't seen him for almost a week, and oddly when I did see him in the hall, I'd quickly look away, but managed to catch a smile leaving his lips every time.

On Thursday our biology group planned to meet at the public library to work on our project, but that night, I sat at the table alone, again. I sat there for an hour and nobody showed up, I was alone like always, used like always.

I decided to leave and what happened next I will never, ever forget.

"Hey Faggot," I hear someone shout from behind me as I steer myself in the direction of my house. Just hearing that word fills me with hate, blinds me with anger but I just kept walking.

"I'm talking to you!"

I quicken my pace but I hear the pounding of feet behind me, it sounds like more than one person, and it's getting louder. All of a sudden I feel this tight grasp on my shoulder as someone spins me around.

It was Alex, Mike and Tyler, my heart began to pound…here I am standing in front of three huge guys with no one else around. _Courage Blaine_

"When some calls you the polite response is to answer them," Alex sneered.

"Well my name isn't faggot," I managed to say.

"Um, last time I checked it was…you stride around all girly and quite frankly we're all tired of it, why don't you take your pathetic self and go somewhere people won't be able to see you, it would be a great favour to all of us," he pestered.

All of a sudden I find myself taken over by all the anger bottled within and I say something I will soon regret, "You guys are just a bunch of assholes. You all love to put me down thinking it will make you superior…but guess what you're the ones who are pathetic, I'm proud to be gay because it just makes me special, I will love whoever I want because I will always be better than you guys…you're the ones who are disgusting!"

I caught my breath, just before everything began to crumble.

"Wow boys, little homo here thinks were the pathetic ones, I guess we will just have to teach this faggot a lesson," Snickered Alex.

I immediately tried to run but they were too fast, one of them grabbed me by the shoulders as I received a blow to the face. Their fists crushing my nose on impact and with blow after blow to my face I finally fell to the ground. But the hits didn't stop; I felt my face warming with blood. I tried to get up, only to be knocked down by a kick to my stomach. For a minute I couldn't breathe, they continued to pound on me, kicking every part of my body. I screamed in pain, wishing it all to be over. I tried to curl into a ball, tucking my head in.

"Fags...Are...Disgusting…You…Are…Disgusting" they shouted as they kicked me harder with each word. I sobbed even more, the pain excruciating, the humility just as bad…Suddenly, "Stop It!" I heard someone shout. They immediately stop kicking and I curled myself into a ball, every part of my body throbbing. As I cried, I faintly heard the fighting continuing only this time I'm wasn't the victim. I pried my eyes open just enough to make out the scene. It was Bryan…He was fighting Alex, Mike and Tyler…and they couldn't fight back…he knocked Alex to the ground…I could see a bunch of kids crowding around…where did they all come from?

"Stop it…" Bryan continued, "You guys are asses" I heard him say…the pain felt like stabs, the blood continued to drip from my for head and my wrist, I couldn't move it. It was so embarrassing.

Bryan continued to pound on Alex, "You're…Disgusting!" He stopped hitting Alex, and ran over to me, I winced with the assumption of more pain, but instead Bryan knelt beside me and rubbed my hair out of my face, "Blaine…Oh God I'm so sorry…really…I can't believe they did this to you," _am I actually hearing this_ "Look Blaine, I need to apologize…for everything…" and just then Bryan leaned into me something I never could have imagined happened in that moment. He pressed his tender lips upon my own, he was kissing me! It felt weird… but comforting, so I didn't stop him. My pain became secondary as my stomach began to fill with butterflies, and my mind felt at ease, almost safe. When he stopped, he stared into my eyes and I stared into his, "I'm gay too!" he shouted so everyone could hear him, but he didn't let his eyes leave mine. Bryan cradled my head and pulled me carefully to his chest, I winced as the pain shocked me back to reality.

"I'm sorry to hear that, I guess you spent a little too much time with him, you contracted the homo disease," stammered Alex as he struggled back to his feet, "I guess we've got two faggots to fix!"

"We don't need fixing, now get lost or I'll call the cops, you don't want that now do you!" Bryan shouted back, I didn't know what to say, didn't know if I even could say something so instead I continued to cry. Cry the pain away, my solution to everything.

"Whatever…I'll finish this, you mark my words," Alex threatened as he limped away, Mike and Tyler tailing behind him.

"I'll get you some help…What your dad's number," Bryan whispered to me, I could hear he was crying.

I couldn't speak, I just began shaking uncontrollably, crying as I lay there, in a pool of my own blood with a jock who had once hated me, now embracing me with such care.

The next thing I remember I was sitting in a hospital bed, bandages wrapped on various parts on my aching body, an I.V hocked up to my hand, and the last person I would have ever thought was sitting next to me.

"Hey buddy, how are you feeling?"

I grunted, too soar to talk.

"I need to talk to you," Bryan pulled up his chair and grabbed my hand, "All my life I've spent hidden, being someone I wasn't because it seemed easier. But when I looked at you, all the pride you had for who you were despite everything I was inspired. I am sorry, truly I am for everything I did and everything they did, I want you to know I will be here for you, Forever and Always. You don't need to change, you are you and that is better than anything. There is nothing wrong with you, I want you to know…You are perfectly imperfect…and I love you," tears were rolling from his eyes and from my own, and we kissed, a perfectly imperfect kiss.


End file.
